my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
