I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
