good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
