Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
