he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
