What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize