I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
