Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize