I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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