If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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