K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How naked do you want me to be?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
