Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
