Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
