is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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