Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Randomize
