ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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