im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
