i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Watching her eat just hurts me
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
