I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
