I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
