He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
