Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
