It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
