Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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