I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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