Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
