I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
