if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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