Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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