uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
