I want to stick my p in your. b.
she was so not down for the gang bang
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
