where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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