Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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