just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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