Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
