Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
