dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
