I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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