If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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