Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
