she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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