Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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