I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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