Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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