CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize