i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
