I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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