Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
