I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
