a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
