he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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