some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
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