Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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