I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
