dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
