elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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