You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
