mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
