You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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