Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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