yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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