Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
