my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
how does that bad decision feel?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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