You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
