Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
