Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
