I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
