We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
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