with your own penis?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
